Top 10 Worst DUI Defense Lawyers
10. The Big Firm Lawyer: Usually hired by the corporate father of the arrestee, they take the case in order to keep him from pulling away their other business, but they stick some junior associate on the case to hold hands and take whatever the prosecutor offers.
9. The Real Estate Lawyer: They handled your house closing, so they have to be able to handle your DUI case, right? Too bad 99% of house closing lawyers rarely set foot in a courthouse, let alone a classroom to learn about DUI defense. They treat their case like a closing – follow a checklist and close it out.
8. The “General Practice” Lawyer: They can handle anything, and everything – just not well. They are trying to run a practice where they know everything about personal injury, bankruptcy, business organizations, wills, trusts and estates, and DUI. Try being a jack of all trades and you become a master of none.
7. The “Friend” who got a DUI: Tells you that you don’t need a lawyer, tells you everything works out fine because their case was exactly the same. Forgets to tell you that they don’t practice law, and can’t identify the legal issues that can mean the difference between winning and losing
6. The Jail Mail Lawyer: Sends out letters to everyone arrested saying they can help you and starts talking about how they resolve cases before ever even seeing the police report. How can someone identify a good defense or a weakness in the states case if they haven’t done any investigation or even read the report? They can’t – if they are telling you how it will resolve before they see these things – run!
5. The Divorce Lawyer: They bill by the hour and get paid for talking to you about your case. They don’t have the training in the science, but they have no problem sounding like they do using lawyer talk and double speak. The best part is that they tell you that they can handle a case when they spend their days arguing with exes about money – not keeping people out of jail. Alimony may be a few years, but a conviction is a life sentence of a black mark.
4. The Newbie. Just out of law school. Really, really needs work, and in this economy will take a case for $50 down and $50 a month. Could be a great lawyer in a few years, once they have studied, but right now doesn’t even realize how much they need to learn. The price is right, or so you think, but you could pay a higher price in the end.
3. The Friend of a Friend. The nice guy lawyer who tells you he will do you a favor. Just meet him at the courthouse on your court date. No money necessary – it’s just a favor for a friend. Too bad he’s gonna put in about five minutes of work into your case – arriving just before you and getting a standard offer from the prosecutor, and give you all of five more minutes to decide what to do.
2. The Undercutter. Tell you he will do the case for $1,000 less than the other guy. If he values his time so poorly – can he really value you at all?
1. The DUI mill. Handles hundreds of DUI cases a year, yet put no time or effort into learning about the science of DUI or is ever seen on trial. Walks you into court with a half dozen or more other clients and resolves your case exactly the same way, every time. Come back tomorrow and you will see the same thing over and over. Done with work by noon, and living a nice life while you ride the bus to work.
